Name : Cécile
Nick : Ciel
DOB : December 20, 1981
Country : The Netherlands
Profession : Secretary
Family : Dad, mum & younger sister
Pets : Golden retriever, Jessi
Dream : Unconditional love
Philosophy : Live and let live
Contact : prettytear@diaryland.com

Portrait

I am
I am... I'm alert and i observe. I'm excentric and individualistic. I'm a sagittarius. I'm an independant soul and i love my freedom. I'm scared and i'm a crybaby. I'm curious and very critical. I'm difficult. I'm resolute and flexible. I'm superstitious. I'm shy. I'm so naive. I'm powerfull and happy. I'm sitting on top of the world. I'm a perfectionist and i expect to be in control especially in my appearance.

I'm a rooster. I'm absent-minded and irritable. I'm jealous. I'm bored. I'm a sister and a daughter. I'm insecure and i'm a neurotic. I'm keeping my word. I'm desperate and depressed. I'm a friend. I'm impulsive and insane. I'm a shadowboxer. I'm waiting for my prince. I'm sweet but such a cat. I'm black and white. I'm every colour. I'm a fairy-tale believer. I'm the magic in the palm of your hand. I'm the bad dream. I'm the sweet embrace. I'm caring and sharing. I'm the the sleepy-faced moon the star-speckled, rainbow-trimmed, cotton candy world.

I'm a mystery. I'm a firefly without the light. I'm a key. I'm day and night, earth and sky. I'm a runaway. I'm never going back. I'm not sorry. I'm your song. I'm the soundtrack of my life. I'm my conscience. I'm a rainbow catcher. I'm a flower child but too sweet for rock and roll. I'm a fighter, i'm the first rule you can not talk about. I'm wondering who the fuck i am on a Sunday morning. I'm my future, i'm my life. I'm Jack's smirking revenge, i'm Jack's broken heart. I'm having the longest day of my life. I'm a tourist. I'm the insomnia that's keeping you awake.

I'm a goodnight hug. I'm cute, i'm a girl child. I'm isolated. I'm the queen of excuses. I'm the shiny, happy people in the crowd. Argh and i'm such a dork sometimes. I'm the monsters in my head. I'm the angel of destiny. I'm floating away in the bathtub. I'm sarcastic and cynical. I'm the punch line of your joke. I'm the tiny dancer, the girl on the bus. I'm the instrument that sings, whines, whispers and peeps. I'm ebb and i'm flow. I am those pretty tears in her face ...I am

The world according to Ciel
Once upon a time... December 20, 1981 a girl was born on a snowy Sunday afternoon. She grew up in a little town which she wanted to leave as a kid but not anymore. A little sister arrived two years later. Family of four. Parents whom where way too concerned and worried about their little ducks. They raised a sweet girl with norms and values but not exactly an adventurer. She's still very attached to home. It's probably one of the reasons why she is still living with her parents. She's a little girl trying to act like a grownup. She really does hope to be independant and have her own life some day. But at the same time this scares her to death. Nervousness runs in the family.

She struggled through high school and ballet classes. At some point a bacterial infection took over her body and knocked her off her feet. She had to fight and overcome her fear. Diseases still scare her. There were friends, but never big groups of people. I guess she has felt a bit of a loner her whole life. She's doesn't mind spending time alone. Losing control drives her insane. She's a dreamer. Creative in many ways. She's a very open-minded person. Life got better for her when she started working. She has changed a lot but at the same time realizes she still has a long road to go. She really needs to work on herself and become more independant. Socialize. Focus on the things she wants to achieve.

She currently works as a Secretary (or Management Assistent) at the Province which she really enjoys. Most of the time she finds it a very satisfying and appreciative job. Right now she has the feeling the next five years will be very important for her. I guess you could say she believes in faith. She's not sure what the future will bring her but she's hoping for health, strength and love. Ah and of course in the world according to Ciel, we are all terminal cases.

Love
Walking in the rain, webdesign, tomato soup, Vietnames spring rolls, my room, clean sheets on my bed, snow globes, aura photography and other paranormal things, sitting on the bus listening to music, Sesame Street, Care Bears, antiques, art, photography, daydream, my Macbook and iPod, dance, body balance (which is like a combination of yoga, pilates and tai chi), dogs, write letters, receive packages, bathrooms and restrooms, tea, read labels on packings, my DVD collection, old cars, theatre, movies, shopping, stormy weather, my baroque chair, sandwiches.

Hate
To lend out my belongings, slamming doors, showing up late, smokers, drugs, snakes, mosquitos, bats, gooses, blisters, diseases, vanilla, ammonia, vomit, rude men, death penalty, anti social driving behaviour, greed, people who do not keep their promises, waking up in the middle of a dream, having to wait, RSI, asparagus, racism, homophobes.

Jessi
I grew up with guinea pigs and a budgie. I still love animals. Whether it's a potbellied pig or a bunny...

Right now we have a Golden Retriever. Jessi is 11 years old and a real sweetheart. She likes to sleep, eats anything, is a bit of a neurotic and really loves her stuffed animals.

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